Curiosity did not kill the cat

Like I mentioned on a previous post, I always wanted to know why people cheat. So, I went ahead and asked people I had never asked before. I must admit that some answers were expected but some, blew my mind. Guys, thank you so much for your answers and not feeling annoyed by my out-of-place questioning.

The following are the answers I so desperately wanted…

  1. “Because we’re assholes. To me, infidelity requires two things:  A motive and a justification. Your partner gives you a motive and you justify your actions. For example: Your partner doesn’t understand you anymore. No matter how much you try she doesn’t show as much interest as she did before, and then this other girl comes into your life that gives you  the attention your girlfriend isn’t giving you anymore and you feel attracted towards her  just like she is towards you, there’s nothing else to do. it just happens”
  2. “As far as I know, people cheat for different reasons. But they are all sort of the same. Some do it because they are not getting entirely what they’d like from a relationship, but they are not strong enough to say ‘Let’s end this cause it’s not working’. There are fuckers who cheat for sport, because they don’t give a shit. And some people are in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong amount of alcohol and/or drugs in their system”
  3. “Basically, us men… we’re idiots
  4. “Revenge; tired of monotony; they can’t satisfy their libido, so they look for other partners; one crazy night; or because you know you can’t have that person but you still want to “
  5. ” Well, love, based on my analysis men cheat for two reasons: the first is because his girl stopped caring and isn’t paying as much attention as she used to; the second is sport. By that I mean that they do it simply for the thrill it gives them, and so their friends see that they can get as many girls they want. And then there’s just the girls that throw themselves at you but that doesn’t happen as much as the two I just mentioned.”
  6. “First time I cheated, I was 15. That was the first time in my life were i was really talking to girls. I wasn’t scared of girls anymore I was more ‘grown up’, I had the balls to talk to girls, and in a guys pov it’s like experimenting, it’s something new to you. It’s girls you find cute, you’re talking to them, you want to, I don’t know, it’s like fun. Not to cheat on them, talking to girls was fun. So yeah what came came and I didn’t think much of it. But every relationship is different, I don’t think there’s an specific reason….Relationships have a flow. If you go through a rocky patch or whatever and this girl comes into your life and shes like saying all the perfect things then, you know, you might feel closer to her. Thing is, there’s no such thing as loyalty in a relationship. You’re with somebody because they make you feel happy, good. Now, if you’re in a relationship because you’ve been with her but in the last couple months it’s been stressful and the right girl comes in with the right words and actions and makes you feel like a man, you might or might not cheat and regret it afterwards.Cause sometimes you’re in a relationship and everything is exciting  but after time passes you get to this comfort zone and sometimes things get boring and you start second guessing, and things might happen and sometimes girls and boys are straight up hoes.”
  7. “I’ve only cheated once. It was an adrenaline rush. But then i felt bad. Reaaallly bad. I had just found out I had been cheated on, so it was like a revenge fuck. But I felt really bad afterwards, so I’ve never done it again. But in my experience, that’s what it feels like. Like the pain becomes adrenaline... like when you do something exciting”
  8. “Immaturity. We are so distanced from the concept of love that any momentary display of affection, doesn’t matter how dishonest it may be, we see it as a light at the end of the tunnel. A light that is guiding us towards what we really want. Most people don’t know the difference between love, lust, crushes, obsession, etc.. That’s why  you’re only faithful when you find that person that you truly love
  9. Validation. Knowing that you are desired by other women that the one who you feel only fucks you out of obligation.”

I hope this answers some of your own questions and doubts.

Love you all.

TOODLES!

-Alice Ayres

Dear Mr. Donald Trump

Dear Mr. Trump,

I am deeply offended by your campaign. When I first heard you were running for presidency, I laughed and my first thought was “What the hell is going through Trump’s head? Is he serious?”. I never thought it could get worse than your stupid reality TV show, or your very noticeable toupe. I am also deeply offended by what you decided to call all of us, kids from latin americans. I AM NOT AN ANCHOR BABY! My parent’s did not decide to have me here so they could have their citizenship secure. My father was already a citizen when I was born and my mother was really close to getting hers. So once again, I AM NOT AN ANCHOR BABY!

I feel sad for you. I really do. It seems like you have forgotten that this country was brought up by illegal immigrants who stole the land, raped and murdered native americans. The only person I would accept these arguments from is and will always be a Native American and in some cases MEXICANS. Why? BECAUSE WE STOLE THEIR LAND! I say we because I AM A NORTH AMERICAN. I was born in this country, I LIVE HERE, and I have all the right to say that I am North American.

It really pisses me off how you diss the people who work so hard to keep this country running. Do you know why hispanics are “stealing”  jobs? BECAUSE THE “WHITE” AMERICANS ARE LAZY AND DO NOT WANT TO WORK. They are spoiled. They rather live off of welfare than work. Did you know that the vast majority of homeless people I see on a daily basis is white? Do you want to know what race and skin color that the few guys I know that deal drugs are?WHITE.. MIDDLE OR HIGH CLASS WHITES.

I am HISPANIC, and I will not tolerate you degrading my race because of some stupid hatred of yours. You honestly remind me of some German asswipe who thought he was above an entire race. Is that where you’re aiming towards? another holocaust? Your entire campaign revolves in changing the constitution, removing the 14th Amendment and then deporting 11 million people from the US plus build a border that will obviously leave the country in bankruptcy.

I honestly believe this is because of some personal vendetta. Does it bother you that there’s a man in Mexico who’s richer than you? Smarter than you? and obviously more grounded than you will ever be? Does it bother you? If you just want to prove a point you’re doing it the wrong way. You’ve lost the vote of the “minority”. Without us, you won’t win. I’d rather vote for Busch any day before I vote for you. I can’t stand the thought that you have gotten into the minds of many americans with all these false promises. You’re lying to your country. Why don’t you fix the school system? Oh yeah, because if you do that’ll mean that the country will be smart enough to make their own decisions and understand that you, sir, are full of crap.

I really hope someone throws a shoe at you at a conference just like they did to Busch. You deserve it more than he did.

Oh and just so you know, I hate you more than I hate Prof Umbridge. And TRUST ME, that’s A LOT!

Worst of luck on your campaign,

Alice Ayres.

Midnight thoughts…

If you ever ask me how I was as a teenager, my answer would be this: …tumblr_mwy5dbJv7H1suhtzlo1_500

I don’t know how I was. I pretended to be someone I wasn’t for so long that I have come to realize: I had no identity back then. I got so lost in what I should be that right now, I’m still searching for myself. Fitting in  was my main objective and being “myself” was completely out of the question. It’s not like I wanted to do this. It was unconsciously, my mind making me do, say or think things that were not ME. I tried so hard to get people to like me that my life became a constant search of approval, and sadly, it still is.

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I don’t know who I really am in life. All I know is that I have a very diverse taste in music, movies, entertainment, etc.. All thanks to my “role-playing”. I was so set in being “one of them”, I never really thought about standing out, being me. And although I tried to keep up with everyone else, I was still left out. I rarely ever go invited to parties or to the mall and I was just looked down on. I was never relevant. I was just there, in my own little corner, reading my books to forget about a nasty remark made about my character.tumblr_mz85kkckuE1s2wsdzo1_500

I was FAKE. But who isn’t during their teenage years? Those are the years we try different things. Cliques are formed and you had to fake it ’til you made it. My biggest struggle was seeing everyone else fake it and making it and then realizing that no matter how much I faked it, I would never really make it. I would never be one of the pretty ones, I would never be told I had a good voice, I would never be asked out and I would always be made fun off.tumblr_mzxz3hdlKN1slwicgo1_500

I won’t lie and say I never thought everyone would be better off without me. I had those thoughts since I was 11-12 years old. I kept journals and wrote about how I felt lost and that I would never be happy in a place like that. I hated my school and I wanted to leave, but my constant thoughts were “what if its the same?, what if I’m still rejected?”. I tried my luck hanging out with kids from another school and it sort of felt right. I went to parties, to the movies, get together’s at someones house and just chilled with them. I felt like I finally had found a place were I fit in.

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Funny how life is though. It’s been years since I last spoke to one of those people. I completely lost contact and none of them have reached out and neither have I. I think that God sent them to me for that amount of time so I could see what being a teenager, really was. Within that group I had my first kiss (dreadful!!!), multiple crushes, some innocent flirting and I even almost get catfished (i outsmarted the bitch). Regardless, it was a good experience. Don’t get me wrong though. I did have friends in my school and they are more than that to me. But it is now that we’ve grown up and some of them have kids or are married that I honestly feel like those people that made fun of me and made me feel alienated are, in fact, my friends and that I can count on them. I have had some of them reach out to me and apologize for bullying me, and some I rather not even speak to and I know it is completely mutual.tumblr_nqq7880GhX1rge4fho1_500

The worst part of all this, is the scars. I am full of scars. I tend to not trust people’s intentions and yet I trust them enough to talk to them about personal stuff. I never know who’s a friend and who is just there waiting for the right moment to ditch me. I’ve been let down so many times that I don’t even try anymore. I don’t go around waiting for a text from those who don’t even have the decency to ask me “how’s it been?” or “how’s the new life?”. I won’t lie and say I don’t miss some of the people I thought of as friends, but I am done.  I am done with trying to fit in, I am done with feeling hurt when everyone around me is talking about going out drinking right after and not even reach out and say “hey, wanna join us?”. I am done feeling sorry for myself. I am done with being weak.tumblr_npqdieeOJC1tvtrqdo1_500

Dude.. Seriously?!

I think this has become sort of a routine. A girl who is clearly not a relationship expert talks and vents about relationships, and the lack of one. I guess that throughout the years I have learned so much vicariously that I can, or at least try to, give some decent advice. So here I go again, venting about how stupid and deceitful some men are.

Disclaimer: this is still about my dear friend (see 7 stages of relationship grief)

I have learned that not having things clear with your significant other can be treacherous. Why? Because you’re in the limbo, the ball is on their court and anything that happens doesn’t matter because “We’re not in a relationship”. The best example for this is the “We were on a break” situation between Ross and Rachel. Rachel never really said it was a simply a break, a time-out, NOT A BREAK UP, but to Ross that’s exactly what it was. He truly believed they had broken up, therefor he went ahead and had rebound sex with the copy-girl with the belly button ring. If things had been clear since the beginning, we wouldn’t have heard Ross yelling “WE WERE ON A BREAK” for all seasons to come.

This happens all the time and that’s why I like to have things clear since day one. I like to know if we’re just friends, if this is just to get to know each other to see were it might go, or if in the back of his mind he’s just waiting for the perfect moment to pounce and fuck me. Some of my friends tell me that this scares men off. My response is “It keeps me sane”. It keeps me sane because knowing exactly what is expected doesn’t make me second guess everything and overthink his texts and stops me from trying to find hidden meanings in our conversations. It let’s me know exactly what’s going down and that way  can make a decision about it.

Having things clear from the beginning might’ve been the best thing for my buddy. He did get things sort of clear at some point but he still had a Ross and Rachel going on. His SO (they were dating, nothing official yet), admitted he cheated, twice, and used the lame excuse that the other guy kissed him. Something I should mention about this situation is that my friend’s SO was in the other guys beach house for the weekend.  This is were I went ” DUDE..SERIOUSLY?!”

First of all, if I knew a guy was throwing himself at me and I WAS NOT INTERESTED, I would’ve never even considered spending a weekend at his beach house, no matter how pretty the beach house is. If i were to consider it, I would’ve taken someone else with me, maybe even my SO if  I had one. I knew this was going down since before it happened. My buddy told me about the other dude’s advances and how he had seen some texts and that his SO was like “I’m with #$#@( now”. So, yeah he was sort of respectful over the texts, this is why he trusted him about it.

My buddy being the proud man he is, told him that whatever they had was beautiful while it lasted but it was over now. He stood his ground and I’m proud of him. But this son of a bitch responds with “we’re not in a relationship” then he adds “It’s not going to happen again, I swear” and the best one yet “Sleep on it I’ll see you Thursday when I get back.My buddy was smart and said no more and ended it right then and there. Honestly, if I were to see this douchebag in person I would hit him with so much emotional pain he will probably end up wishing that I’d be kicking his ass instead.

Sometimes I wonder what really goes on a person’s mind when they cheat and I wish i could get someone’s point of view about it but some people are so touchy about the subject. I sit here like “you’re my friend, I know you cheat” and they look all offended and act like they have never done such things. Whatever let’s you sleep at night, buddy.  But yeah, this is just me procrastinating instead of doing something productive, and obviously letting go of some deep hatred I have towards some people right now.

Have a great night!

Toodles,