Webster’s dictionary defines Impulsive as doing things or tending to do things suddenly and without careful thought.. in other words acting or tending to act on impulse.
If you know me well, impulsive is the first word that comes to mind when asked to describe me.
I must admit that my impulsiveness isn’t really something done regularly but rather momentarily, nope… Situational, definitely situational. Why? Because I act upon my emotions. Doesn’t matter what happens.. I always end up doing something impulsive.
Like for example:
Let’s go back to B. Like I said, B is a complicated fucktard. First time we had issues, I deleted him from my address book. I didn’t want to have his number at hand, because knowing me and my eternal weakness to assholes, I would end up calling or texting him. Eventually, and I am sad to admit, I added him again to my address book. He texted me and I added his number. So we were back to ground zero: me trying to get him to want a relationship again. Once again we had a situation, right after fooling around twice. This time, I erased him from the following: Facebook, Instagram and my address book… AGAIN. Months passed and came the fateful day. He texted me through snapchat.. We hung out shit happened he became a dickhead again… GONE FROM MY LIFE FOREVER… until once again he texted me and tried to do something again, but then decided it was best or us to stop contact all together.. He beat me to the punch.
Now C. C is really something. We had an issue and I got so pissed that I erased him from my life, except Snapchat. I can’t erase people from there, it’s my only way to show them that IDGAF about what happened and I’m Ok.. or at least pretend. So yeah, I erased him from everywhere, pictures we took, I got rid of it all. I didn’t want anything from him or that reminded me of him. So now, I regret doing that. Why? I looked damn good in those pictures and I want them back, but besides that.. Those are memories I want to keep..
With A, it’s different. I want to say I’m sorry, but I don’t think I did anything wrong. I miss him, he was one of my best friends and I confided in him. But he hates me now and I don’t know what to do. It’s too late anyway..
I know this is short and not as funny as the first post. But I needed to let this out of my chest. It’s good to talk about how I feel about myself, and I rather write down my feelings instead of going out and doing something crazy.